i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
