The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
