im drinking this country out of the recession.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
