Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
i've created a new STD.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize