I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize