You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
