Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
