Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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