There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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