were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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