just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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