Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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