I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
