The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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