We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
