I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
