I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
