What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
