For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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