my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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