Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
