what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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