hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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