You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
