im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
