dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
