Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
