Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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