I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
