tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
