I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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