Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
