READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
