It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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