We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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