Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
