so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
