That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
