Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
