im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize