Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
