I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
