She said her name was "party"
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
vagina is talking i cant
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
