would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
