i don't like sucking hair
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I party with great urgency now.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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