dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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