Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
