i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
