I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
