New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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