I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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