You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
