you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
