so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize