I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
