finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
