capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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