Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
