HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
