Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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