roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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