ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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