i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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