new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I lost the right to judge tonight
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
